about preemies.

This blog is off from my normal topics of teaching the kids. Lately I've been thinking a lot about premature labor and the struggles of the baby and his/her parents and family. My family has been through this, and it makes you nervous to have more children. You hope every pregnancy will be easy and that every baby will be born healthy and strong, but reality reminds you that sometimes that just doesn't happen.

Here in KC, we're having a March for Babies sponsored by the March of Dimes. Most of us have heard of the March of Dimes and know that they help research premature birth and help support families going through having a preemie. I've always been a fan of the March of Dimes, but this is the first time I'm actually doing something more than just being being a fan.

I don't make it a habit of talking about PG's stay in the NICU. I'll share the basics, but it's still difficult to talk about the emotions involved. I also know that I have friends whose  babies went through so much more than PG did, so I feel guilty for sharing her story when it was relatively easy compared to others. I do believe that even though PG didn't struggle as much as other babies that her story still important, and what we went through matters. Maybe our story can help someone else.


Our PG is, for the most part, a healthy little girl. The health issues she does have may or may not be a result of her being preemie. But like other girls, she loves to dance and sing and dress up. She's learning to read and recognize her letters and numbers. Sometimes she's a best friend to her little sister and sometimes she's her enemy.


Usually I don't think a lot about her early arrival until her birthday comes around, but the March for Babies has made me think about it. My beautiful little girl who struggled to eat, stay warm, and gain weight. Who, even less than 24 hours old, looked at her daddy with so much love in her eyes, we knew she was going to be okay. A shot I had been given helped her lungs develop so she didn't need help breathing, but she did need a feeding tube and the help of an isolette to gain enough weight that she could come home. 


I still don't know what my husband told our son, or the questions MB asked about his baby sister. I do remember his excitement when he got to see her and hold her for the first time. He was even happy just getting to stick his hand in the isolate to touch her and talk to her. Whatever Daddy said to him, it seemed to help MB through what could have been even more difficult.


I still keep some of my most private thoughts and struggles private, but maybe some day I'll feel more comfortable sharing those inner most feelings. For now, I would ask that you remember those women who are pregnant and give them encouraging words, especially women who have previously had a preemie. The worries of these parents never really go away when the mom is pregnant again. Even when precautions are taken and reassurances are given, it's still a worry that's sits in the back of their minds and comes out often. 

I'm thankful for how far medicine has come and how much the doctors and nurses can do for these little ones now. Just hoping that it's something that our family doesn't have to go through again. If we do though, I know we'll be okay.

For more info on what the March of Dimes does for preemies and their families go to www.marchofdime.com

Preparing to home school

Even though this school year hasn't ended yet, I'm preparing for the next year. As a special ed teacher I did a lot of individual lesson plans and creating worksheets from scratch. It was important to give my students assignments  that worked toward his/her goals and not necessarily what the other students on their grade level were doing. So I've been creating worksheets based on the grade level expectations for 6th grade, while keeping in mind things that MB needs to work on to be proficient for 5th grade.

This includes looking online for resources as well as going to the library and talking with friends who home school. There are many different curriculum choices out there, and there's the option to not use a curriculum and use different worksheets and resources that teach what needs to be learned. Using curriculum brings along with it the cost of buying your own books, workbooks, and extras that may be needed. Many home school parents share curriculum or sell what they are not using at a lower price. This is an option I may look into, but at this time I'm really considering creating my own "curriculum" and using online and library resources to teach MB and PG what they need to learn currently.

I have found many, many resources for field trips and book clubs, social groups, and more. It's exciting to see all the possibilities out there for home schooling!

Why we should home school Part II

I think a lot of people are nervous to home school their kids. Even though I have years of teaching experience, I'm nervous about it too. It's different doing things on your own and having to pay for everything you use, but I'm convinced the positives outweigh the negatives.

• Classroom size ~ The ratio of parent to child is much smaller than the ratio of teacher to student. 
• Control over what is taught, when and how. ~ Sex ed can be taught in way that the parent finds appropriate instead of how a school feels it needs to presented to hundreds of students. ~ Teaching creation instead of evolution.
• Field trips~ occur more often and lessons can be tailored to the trip and the child
• Life Skills ~ Kiddos can be taught from everyday experiences. Most schools are inhibited as to what they teach in the way of cooking due to fire codes. At home, kids can learn many different lessons through cooking and working in a kitchen.
• Hands-on learning ~ Homes tend to have more room and with less studentshands-on learning is more accessible.  
• Flexible schedule ~ If you have doctors' appointments (which we often do) or someone isn't feeling well or didn't sleep much, the schedule for the day can be changed to accommodate. Also, if you find that your kiddos does better with writing after lunch rather than after breakfast, you can change the schedule without concern of it the change affecting the classroom.
• Co-ops ~ Many areas have home school co-ops that parents and kiddos participate in allowing the kiddos to learn new things they may not have learned in school or at home. It also allows parents to talk and share ideas.
• Extracurricular activities ~ As a teacher, I would have students come to school exhausted and nearly falling asleep in class because they didn't get to bed until after midnight due to playing baseball. When a home school family wants to participate in extracurricular activities, 1. the activity can count as minutes toward school  2. the kiddos can get as much as sleep as needed before having school the next day
• Choices of curriculum ~ as home educators we can see how our kiddos each learn best and provide that to them. If one learns best on the computer we can chose an online curriculum or have at least part of the lessons online, if one curriculum doesn't work, we try out something different in the future. Schools don't have this luxury since they have to buy a curriculum for the entire district costing thousands of dollars. Even when the majority of students show that they are not progressing well using the curriculum, teachers must continue to use it because of the money spent.
• Sick days can still be learning days ~ Recently a friend of mine shared on Facebook how  excited she was to see Bill Nye is now on Netflix so her son was still able to learn science even when he was sick.

These are not the only reasons I have for choosing home education for my kids, my they make a compelling argument. 

why we should home school.

Being public school teacher before becoming a stay-at-home mom, many people are asking me, "Are you considering homeschooling?" in a rather surprised tone. (The answer I've given has received ridicule from some.) MB has always gone to public school, and little sister (PG) talks about when she will go to school like Bubby. It's not an easy decision for me whether I home school my kids or send them to public school. (Private school is out of our price range, so it's not an option for us.)

I have friends that have chosen public education, private education, and friends that have chosen home education. Some of my friends have found it necessary to send one or more of their children to public/school and home school their other children. It is obviously not an easy decision for any parent to make, and ultimately as parents we have to do what we believe is best for each child.

Part of my thought process has been through reminiscing. I have grown up with kids who were home schooled, as well as attended public and private school. I have seen the pitfalls and the success stories. Some of the homeschooling families were part of the home school community. This means they participated in activities and classes with other homeschooling families, the parents would talk with each other and share ideas, and the parents found ways to give their kids experiences and advanced classes as appropriate for each child. On the other hand, I also knew who parents kept their children home most of the time and did not participate in home school activities with other families. Some parents did not want to express a need for help or that their children needed to learn how to make friends and behave appropriately in public. (Not that they behaved badly, but that they didn't know how to interact with others due to lack of experience.)

Continuing down memory lane, I have seen the same kinds of pitfalls and success stories come out of the public school system too. Many, many kids fall between the cracks. It's extremely difficult to give every student what he/she needs when classrooms have 20+ students and one teacher trying to get through their required curriculum so that the students will do well on end of the year exams. Bullying, bad language, talk of sexual acts, smoking, drinking, and drug use are common in public school. Some students have been bullied to the point of needing psychiatric care. Unfortunately, with a ratio or approximately 25/1 students to teachers, it's difficult to really be in control the students and classes at all times.

Basically, schooling is difficult wherever or however you choose to do it. MB is excited to try something new and get to home school like some of his friends as church. PG isn't sure she wants to give up going to Bubby's school when she's the right age. BG is only 2 and doesn't have an opinion yet. For now, my hubby and I need to talk more, do more research and pray more about what's right for our family

why I can't have everything I want.

Lately, my husband and I hear, "I want ..." more than anything else. It's very frustrating! We have taught our kids to use manners and ask politely for things, but PG (our four year old) is going through the I want it and if I don't get it I'm going to scream my head off phase. FUN times in our house.

To make things even more complicated, I have serious health issues that have caused me to lose a lot of my mobility, and I can become ill at a moments notice. PG, knowing this, will flat out tell me no and run away out of my reach and refuse to sit in time out. I have learned that when she refuses to sit in time out that taking a favorite privilege away teaches PG that time outs are the preferable consequence.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that kids go through their own growing pains and each one's pains are different. Where MB didn't throw fits like PG, he had his own growing pains ( still does).

I know it's imperative that the kids learn to wait for things they want. Sometimes it just seems easier (because we're tired, or have a headache, or just want some peace in the house) to let them have their way. I do know that there is so much to learn from being patient and saving money, earning privileges, etc. Especially in today's society of convenience and pleasure.

I have difficulty waiting sometimes or saving money for things I want instead of buying something on credit or using money I have right now that would have been better used for something else. I also find that I struggle with saying no. When so much money is being spent right now on things I need (new shoes to fit my AFO, a rollator the insurance wouldn't pay for, crutches, a cane, lightweight clothes, etc.) it's hard for me to not buy the kids some new clothes or hair do-dads or a treat to help them feel better about all the changes.

I also know that some of the temper tantrums and demands are due to the changes we have had to make in our lives to accommodate Mommy. Moving the furniture, playing outside earlier in the day when there aren't other kids because it's not too hot for Mommy, missing going to go the park or library, are just some of the changes. And, of course, when Mommy becomes frustrated because I can't give the kids the little things they want, it trickles down and the kids begin to act out causing the frustration to grow. It turns into a vicious cycle.

But, I still know that even through all the temper tantrums, melt-downs, slammed doors, and screaming, the kids are learning a valuable lesson that you can't always have what want.

about why we do things ahead of time.

So, I'm trying (desperately) to teach the kids why it's important to do things ahead of time. Today that lesson comes in the way of picking out clothes and hairdos the evening before church. The kids don't always enjoy doing this, especially if it means having to stop enjoying themselves to do "work."

Although, I know that their attitudes are perfectly normal, it can still be incredibly frustrating! At least my girls are at a stage where they enjoy picking out clothes (especially dresses) and having their hair fixed. The problem comes in when they pick out something that really isn't appropriate for the occasion. (A fancy dress to go to the park, a tank top to play in the snow, etc.) The main issue comes from Monkey Boy who finds making preparations an annoying waste of time, especially when Mom can do it for him. (Gotta love the pre-teens!)

I am happy to share, that the kids have picked out clothes for tomorrow except for their shoes. They have a tendency to NOT put their shoes away which means we have to go on a "treasure hunt" to find a pair of shoes that are appropriate for the activity. Wish me luck!

Update

Well, I haven't posted since Oct. of 2010! WOW!!! Time to update.

Our lives have pretty much been upended, and it's a bit more difficult than I could've ever imagined.

Monkey Boy is finishing 5th grade and struggling with anxiety and rigidity. It's one of those situations where you KNOW you should be a more patient parent, but you find it difficult to always be patient and let things go and guide him to figure out what works best for him. Sometimes you just want to scream, "CUT IT OUT!!!", but in reality you know he's doing his best and he's not trying to be bad, annoying, etc. His anxiety truly gets the better of him.

Pretty Girl has been struggling with her asthma. It's better than it was a few weeks ago, but still not free and clear like we all want. She's also starting to show signs of eczema on her hands and the bottoms of her feet. Then there's the fact that she's four and everything that goes along with that!

I'm trying to potty train Baby Girl without much success. Mainly because I don't always have the ability to take her potty and do the actual training, but it really needs to happen as soon as possible. She gets really bad diaper rash and the best way to combat that is for her to go in the potty.

Then there's me...not sure I feel like getting into all of that right now. Maybe tomorrow, but we'll see.

I think the lessons that I'm teaching the most right now deal with perseverance. With all the trials we're going through right now, my kiddos are hopefully learning that Mommy and Daddy aren't giving up. We may be more easily irritated, and the daily chores may not be getting accomplished like they used to, but Mommy and Daddy AREN'T giving up!