why I can't have everything I want.

Lately, my husband and I hear, "I want ..." more than anything else. It's very frustrating! We have taught our kids to use manners and ask politely for things, but PG (our four year old) is going through the I want it and if I don't get it I'm going to scream my head off phase. FUN times in our house.

To make things even more complicated, I have serious health issues that have caused me to lose a lot of my mobility, and I can become ill at a moments notice. PG, knowing this, will flat out tell me no and run away out of my reach and refuse to sit in time out. I have learned that when she refuses to sit in time out that taking a favorite privilege away teaches PG that time outs are the preferable consequence.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that kids go through their own growing pains and each one's pains are different. Where MB didn't throw fits like PG, he had his own growing pains ( still does).

I know it's imperative that the kids learn to wait for things they want. Sometimes it just seems easier (because we're tired, or have a headache, or just want some peace in the house) to let them have their way. I do know that there is so much to learn from being patient and saving money, earning privileges, etc. Especially in today's society of convenience and pleasure.

I have difficulty waiting sometimes or saving money for things I want instead of buying something on credit or using money I have right now that would have been better used for something else. I also find that I struggle with saying no. When so much money is being spent right now on things I need (new shoes to fit my AFO, a rollator the insurance wouldn't pay for, crutches, a cane, lightweight clothes, etc.) it's hard for me to not buy the kids some new clothes or hair do-dads or a treat to help them feel better about all the changes.

I also know that some of the temper tantrums and demands are due to the changes we have had to make in our lives to accommodate Mommy. Moving the furniture, playing outside earlier in the day when there aren't other kids because it's not too hot for Mommy, missing going to go the park or library, are just some of the changes. And, of course, when Mommy becomes frustrated because I can't give the kids the little things they want, it trickles down and the kids begin to act out causing the frustration to grow. It turns into a vicious cycle.

But, I still know that even through all the temper tantrums, melt-downs, slammed doors, and screaming, the kids are learning a valuable lesson that you can't always have what want.

about why we do things ahead of time.

So, I'm trying (desperately) to teach the kids why it's important to do things ahead of time. Today that lesson comes in the way of picking out clothes and hairdos the evening before church. The kids don't always enjoy doing this, especially if it means having to stop enjoying themselves to do "work."

Although, I know that their attitudes are perfectly normal, it can still be incredibly frustrating! At least my girls are at a stage where they enjoy picking out clothes (especially dresses) and having their hair fixed. The problem comes in when they pick out something that really isn't appropriate for the occasion. (A fancy dress to go to the park, a tank top to play in the snow, etc.) The main issue comes from Monkey Boy who finds making preparations an annoying waste of time, especially when Mom can do it for him. (Gotta love the pre-teens!)

I am happy to share, that the kids have picked out clothes for tomorrow except for their shoes. They have a tendency to NOT put their shoes away which means we have to go on a "treasure hunt" to find a pair of shoes that are appropriate for the activity. Wish me luck!

Update

Well, I haven't posted since Oct. of 2010! WOW!!! Time to update.

Our lives have pretty much been upended, and it's a bit more difficult than I could've ever imagined.

Monkey Boy is finishing 5th grade and struggling with anxiety and rigidity. It's one of those situations where you KNOW you should be a more patient parent, but you find it difficult to always be patient and let things go and guide him to figure out what works best for him. Sometimes you just want to scream, "CUT IT OUT!!!", but in reality you know he's doing his best and he's not trying to be bad, annoying, etc. His anxiety truly gets the better of him.

Pretty Girl has been struggling with her asthma. It's better than it was a few weeks ago, but still not free and clear like we all want. She's also starting to show signs of eczema on her hands and the bottoms of her feet. Then there's the fact that she's four and everything that goes along with that!

I'm trying to potty train Baby Girl without much success. Mainly because I don't always have the ability to take her potty and do the actual training, but it really needs to happen as soon as possible. She gets really bad diaper rash and the best way to combat that is for her to go in the potty.

Then there's me...not sure I feel like getting into all of that right now. Maybe tomorrow, but we'll see.

I think the lessons that I'm teaching the most right now deal with perseverance. With all the trials we're going through right now, my kiddos are hopefully learning that Mommy and Daddy aren't giving up. We may be more easily irritated, and the daily chores may not be getting accomplished like they used to, but Mommy and Daddy AREN'T giving up!