why we should home school.

Being public school teacher before becoming a stay-at-home mom, many people are asking me, "Are you considering homeschooling?" in a rather surprised tone. (The answer I've given has received ridicule from some.) MB has always gone to public school, and little sister (PG) talks about when she will go to school like Bubby. It's not an easy decision for me whether I home school my kids or send them to public school. (Private school is out of our price range, so it's not an option for us.)

I have friends that have chosen public education, private education, and friends that have chosen home education. Some of my friends have found it necessary to send one or more of their children to public/school and home school their other children. It is obviously not an easy decision for any parent to make, and ultimately as parents we have to do what we believe is best for each child.

Part of my thought process has been through reminiscing. I have grown up with kids who were home schooled, as well as attended public and private school. I have seen the pitfalls and the success stories. Some of the homeschooling families were part of the home school community. This means they participated in activities and classes with other homeschooling families, the parents would talk with each other and share ideas, and the parents found ways to give their kids experiences and advanced classes as appropriate for each child. On the other hand, I also knew who parents kept their children home most of the time and did not participate in home school activities with other families. Some parents did not want to express a need for help or that their children needed to learn how to make friends and behave appropriately in public. (Not that they behaved badly, but that they didn't know how to interact with others due to lack of experience.)

Continuing down memory lane, I have seen the same kinds of pitfalls and success stories come out of the public school system too. Many, many kids fall between the cracks. It's extremely difficult to give every student what he/she needs when classrooms have 20+ students and one teacher trying to get through their required curriculum so that the students will do well on end of the year exams. Bullying, bad language, talk of sexual acts, smoking, drinking, and drug use are common in public school. Some students have been bullied to the point of needing psychiatric care. Unfortunately, with a ratio or approximately 25/1 students to teachers, it's difficult to really be in control the students and classes at all times.

Basically, schooling is difficult wherever or however you choose to do it. MB is excited to try something new and get to home school like some of his friends as church. PG isn't sure she wants to give up going to Bubby's school when she's the right age. BG is only 2 and doesn't have an opinion yet. For now, my hubby and I need to talk more, do more research and pray more about what's right for our family

why I can't have everything I want.

Lately, my husband and I hear, "I want ..." more than anything else. It's very frustrating! We have taught our kids to use manners and ask politely for things, but PG (our four year old) is going through the I want it and if I don't get it I'm going to scream my head off phase. FUN times in our house.

To make things even more complicated, I have serious health issues that have caused me to lose a lot of my mobility, and I can become ill at a moments notice. PG, knowing this, will flat out tell me no and run away out of my reach and refuse to sit in time out. I have learned that when she refuses to sit in time out that taking a favorite privilege away teaches PG that time outs are the preferable consequence.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that kids go through their own growing pains and each one's pains are different. Where MB didn't throw fits like PG, he had his own growing pains ( still does).

I know it's imperative that the kids learn to wait for things they want. Sometimes it just seems easier (because we're tired, or have a headache, or just want some peace in the house) to let them have their way. I do know that there is so much to learn from being patient and saving money, earning privileges, etc. Especially in today's society of convenience and pleasure.

I have difficulty waiting sometimes or saving money for things I want instead of buying something on credit or using money I have right now that would have been better used for something else. I also find that I struggle with saying no. When so much money is being spent right now on things I need (new shoes to fit my AFO, a rollator the insurance wouldn't pay for, crutches, a cane, lightweight clothes, etc.) it's hard for me to not buy the kids some new clothes or hair do-dads or a treat to help them feel better about all the changes.

I also know that some of the temper tantrums and demands are due to the changes we have had to make in our lives to accommodate Mommy. Moving the furniture, playing outside earlier in the day when there aren't other kids because it's not too hot for Mommy, missing going to go the park or library, are just some of the changes. And, of course, when Mommy becomes frustrated because I can't give the kids the little things they want, it trickles down and the kids begin to act out causing the frustration to grow. It turns into a vicious cycle.

But, I still know that even through all the temper tantrums, melt-downs, slammed doors, and screaming, the kids are learning a valuable lesson that you can't always have what want.

about why we do things ahead of time.

So, I'm trying (desperately) to teach the kids why it's important to do things ahead of time. Today that lesson comes in the way of picking out clothes and hairdos the evening before church. The kids don't always enjoy doing this, especially if it means having to stop enjoying themselves to do "work."

Although, I know that their attitudes are perfectly normal, it can still be incredibly frustrating! At least my girls are at a stage where they enjoy picking out clothes (especially dresses) and having their hair fixed. The problem comes in when they pick out something that really isn't appropriate for the occasion. (A fancy dress to go to the park, a tank top to play in the snow, etc.) The main issue comes from Monkey Boy who finds making preparations an annoying waste of time, especially when Mom can do it for him. (Gotta love the pre-teens!)

I am happy to share, that the kids have picked out clothes for tomorrow except for their shoes. They have a tendency to NOT put their shoes away which means we have to go on a "treasure hunt" to find a pair of shoes that are appropriate for the activity. Wish me luck!

Update

Well, I haven't posted since Oct. of 2010! WOW!!! Time to update.

Our lives have pretty much been upended, and it's a bit more difficult than I could've ever imagined.

Monkey Boy is finishing 5th grade and struggling with anxiety and rigidity. It's one of those situations where you KNOW you should be a more patient parent, but you find it difficult to always be patient and let things go and guide him to figure out what works best for him. Sometimes you just want to scream, "CUT IT OUT!!!", but in reality you know he's doing his best and he's not trying to be bad, annoying, etc. His anxiety truly gets the better of him.

Pretty Girl has been struggling with her asthma. It's better than it was a few weeks ago, but still not free and clear like we all want. She's also starting to show signs of eczema on her hands and the bottoms of her feet. Then there's the fact that she's four and everything that goes along with that!

I'm trying to potty train Baby Girl without much success. Mainly because I don't always have the ability to take her potty and do the actual training, but it really needs to happen as soon as possible. She gets really bad diaper rash and the best way to combat that is for her to go in the potty.

Then there's me...not sure I feel like getting into all of that right now. Maybe tomorrow, but we'll see.

I think the lessons that I'm teaching the most right now deal with perseverance. With all the trials we're going through right now, my kiddos are hopefully learning that Mommy and Daddy aren't giving up. We may be more easily irritated, and the daily chores may not be getting accomplished like they used to, but Mommy and Daddy AREN'T giving up!

Non-scary Halloween

For many kids, Halloween is a frighteningly fun holiday. One that is filled with costumed friends and lots of sweet candy. There are kids however, who find Halloween daunting. The masks, the tricks, even the candy can be intimidating and horrifying. Halloween is so mystifying for some kiddos that they would rather not participate at all than deal with so many things they don't understand.

B is a kiddo who enjoys Halloween to a point. He enjoys the fun of dressing up and getting candy, but does NOT like to be scared. He does not enjoy scream masks, ghouls, or bloody faces or axes. He may be bothered some during the day by these scary costumes, but at night for a week, he'll be sure he's seeing things in his room, in the mirror, down the hall. He knows it's his imagination working overtime, but that doesn't stop the startling fear that someone or something might hurt him or his family.

Good thing, that there are now activities and non-scary places where kids and families can go without being afraid of what they may see there. One of those places is the Enchanted Forest in Independence, MO. The family can go and see skits and interact with story book characters. Other options are the popular Trunk or Treats that many churches have for the community. If you have a kiddo who prefers non-scary Halloween, that's okay. There are ways to make it work so they can have fun too!

Review of Dr. Scholl's Fast Flats

A while back, my hubby texted me that while at Walgreens I should pick up a pair of Dr. Scholl's For Her Fast Flats. I had seen them advertised on TV, and since I enjoy going barefoot or wearing minimalist footwear I thought I'd give them a try as an everyday minimalist shoe.

Just a little insight into why I don't wear more traditional shoes: About seven years ago I was diagnosed with tendinitis in my toes from wearing shoes that were either too tight or had a heel. The recommendation from the doc was to wear round or square toed flats. I also found as a special education teacher that I needed to be able to wear shoes that I could easily run in. So that is when I stopped wearing most heels and started wear minimalist footwear.

So here is what happened when I wore them and how the shoes held up:

Style
The shoes are a cute ballet slipper type. They have a bow over the toe box and have a leathery feel. There is an elastic band sewn into the top of the heel which allows you to put on and take off the shoes easily. The band also helps the shoes stay on without slipping. The shoes look a lot like many of the other ballet slipper types out there, and most people wouldn't know that they're Fast Flats unless you tell them or they have some of their own. I did notice that Fast Flats only come in black. At least, this only color available where I bought mine. That's not really a problem unless your wanting brown or gray or any other color. ;-)

Quality

I've worn the shoes nearly every day since I purchased them. The quality isn't what I had hoped for. I'm one of those people who keeps shoes as long as I can, and if I really like them, I wear them, A LOT! After having them for just a few weeks, I am disappointed in the quality of the shoes. They are showing wear around the toe box where the sole and body are sewn together. In most places it's just the covering wearing off, but at the ball of my large toe, the seem is actually splitting (pictured below). :-(


Keep in mind, however, that these shoes are NOT meant to be regular footwear. They are intended as a "club to car" shoe with limited long-term use. That said, it's not overly surprising that they're not terribly durable, but it's worth noting IF you're considering these for more everyday use.

Cost

The shoes are relatively cost effective (at a suggested price of $12.99 USD), but like I said earlier, I like my shoes to LAST! I also like a good bargain and rarely pay more than $20 for a pair of shoes. (Since I often go barefoot, that doesn't tend to be a problem.) The Fast Flats were $12.50 where I bought them in a suburb of Kansas City. M: Other retailers have been found that sell them for $9.99. Dr. Scholl's does offer a money back guarantee if you're not satisfied with the Fast Flats.

Fit and Comfort

Seeing that these shoes are similar to slippers, I expected them to fit well right away. That's not exactly what happened. At first glance, the Fast Flats appeared to be non-foot specific. When my hubby put them on me, they felt awkward right away and the toe box pinched. After I switched them, I realized they are foot specific and the awkwardness went away. Unfortunately, they still pinched my toes and felt too small for my feet. I normally wear between a 4 and a 6 so I bought the 5/6. I thought it was pretty strange that the shoes felt too small and almost went back to the store to buy the 7/8. I decided to wait and see if the shoes began to feel better with time, and I just needed to "break them in." Even now, my toes feel slightly pinched. I did trim my toe nails (they were not exceeding long) and that helped them feel less tight on the tips of my toes. My feet are pretty average width, and I'm not sure that Fast Flats would fit well on someone with narrow or wide feet. There are a variety of sizes, but I didn't see any that were mad specifically for someone who does not have average foot width.

Barefoot Sensation and Movement

The soles on the Fast Flats are remarkably flexible and thin and yet don't pierce easily. My first real trial wearing the Fast Flats was at my husband's work picnic where the trails were gravel. The soles were thin enough to make it feel almost as though I wasn't wearing shoes at all, yet thick enough to not be pierced by the rocks. When we arrived home that evening, my feet hurt and I chose to wear a different pair of shoes the next day that had a thicker, cushier sole. The sole does have traction on the bottom, and sliding has not been problem like with other footwear. They are also thin enough to feel the different temperatures and wetness.

I wore Fast Flats on a Saturday to one of my husband's races. The pavement was quite warm (80+ degrees F outside) and the soles of my feet felt rather warm too. Not really uncomfortable, but noticeably warm. When shopping in the grocery store, the freezer section made my feet uncomfortably cold. I also accidentally stepped in a puddle which made my foot damp. It wasn't too bad, but somewhat irritating.

Extras

Dr. Scholl's For Her Fast Flats come with a small gold purse that the slippers are literally rolled into cylinders to fit into. This is how the shoes are packaged and how they are purchased. It would be difficult to try these on before purchasing, but as noted earlier, you can receive a full refund if you're not satisfied. You would not, however, have a place to put your heels when switching to Fast Flats as shown in the commercial. The gold purse is stylish and has a small pocket inside perfect for your license and cash. I can fit my cell phone, clip on sun glasses case, and a package of Tic Tacs in mine. My wallet and keys are too big, but I suppose I could take my car and house keys off the ring and slide them in the small pocket as well. The purse has a small wrist handle to make it easier to hang onto it.

Final Words

Honestly, I've never been in the club scene. I'm sure these shoes would be good for giving your feet a break while dancing and clubbing and general indoor use. Since I am usually barefoot indoors, I only really wore the Fast Flats outdoors which is probably why they started to wear in just a few weeks. For me, Fast Flats are ideal for a "back-up" shoe in places where I can't go barefoot. I can simply roll them up in the purse and keep them in my glove compartment to use when the need arises. Fast Flats are a fair quality, cute shoe. I'm not sure they're the best minimalist shoe because of the toe pinching and lack of quality when wearing them out doors, but I did enjoy wearing them until them I wore them out.

School Days

The beginning of school causes major anxiety in my house, or at least in my stomach. Last year was almost too good to be true. For the first time in 4 years, B had a classroom teacher who truly enjoyed having him in class, not just a teacher who tolerated him. (The previous years were bad dream after bad dream with some nightmares mixed in.) The only other teacher that enjoyed B was his gifted teacher at his former school district. Last year he changed schools and it made a huge difference. He never had to be sent out of the room for melt-downs, he usually finished his work and didn't have to go the principal! It was an AMAZING year!!!

So now it's the beginning of 4th grade. Same school, new teacher. The principal and third grade teacher feel that this teacher is a good fit, but I've heard that before and last time it didn't work out so well. (Not that I'm wanting for things to go wrong, I just don't want to get my hopes up just to have them dashed again.) He came home from school and told me the 1st day was so-so. The teacher talked a lot and he fell asleep. His teacher told him he should go to bed earlier. (Probably not such a bad idea. Then again it could be all the talking. B tends to tune out when there's too much talk and sometimes it puts him to sleep.) He also seems concerned about the new schedule. Something about math being both before and after lunch and then recess. My concern is they have changed the specials to a block schedule, so instead of having PE and music twice a week, they'll have them once a week. (I don't know if they increase the time of specials though.) I believe PE is every "B" day. For most kids this will still work out because they have recess every day, but for B, having a place to expend energy is imperative. Without it, tics become worse, he can't sit still and melt downs can become a regular occurrence. (Third grade teacher worked breaks into her daily schedule which, I think, was probably what really made the year go well for him.)

Last year the school had an information night the first or second week of school. (That's where we find out where B is sitting and get the handbook and how much homework there will be, etc.) Although B has already informed me that there will be a homework packet every week. Woo hoo!! That's what every kid needs when coming home from working all day is more of the exact same kind of work when he/she comes home. (At least when I was teaching, the work I did at home was different!) I understand why teachers give homework and that there is that notorious test near the end of the year that determines if teachers are good at teaching, but for a kid like B, this is a HUGE waste of time and causes arguments and melt-downs almost daily! Then you have the issues of eating supper and getting ready for bed. Let's just say that I have learned a tremendous amount of what it's like for parents with special needs kiddos than I ever knew as a sped teacher. Anyway... time for me to get off my falling apart, neglected, soap box. We put him in public school, we have to deal with it!

On a somewhat separate note, a pet peeve for me is when a person (teacher, doctor, family member) pretends or insinuates knowledge on a subject to not look "dumb" rather than admitting ignorance and willingness to learn. At meet the teacher night, B's new teacher acted as though she knew about Tourette Syndrome and OCD characteristics and such, only for us to find out from last years teacher that she really doesn't know anything. UGHHHH!!!! We won't be upset that you don't know. Ignorance does not equal stupidity. Ignorance has the ability to change through education and leaning, stupidity is knowing and not caring! Please ask questions!!!!! We don't bite, and we want our son to be successful! We want the year to go well for you and him. Here's hoping for an enjoyable and successful school year for B and us. I hope all of you who are starting a new school year, whether public, private, home, or unschooling, have a fantastic time watching your children learn!

Remember, God smiles upon His children even when we don't see it!
Glenda